food for dorks

(DAIRY-FREE) BRAIN FREEZE This heat wave has been brutal. In New...

Thu, 04 Aug 2011 21:00:00 -0400

(DAIRY-FREE) BRAIN FREEZE

This heat wave has been brutal. In New York, you can’t escape the heat. It’s everywhere! On the train you take to work, in the bodega where you buy your gatorade, even the moment you step outside your apartment, you begin to melt. Summers like these require all sorts of rituals : three cold showers a day. Lots and lots of Mo-Town. Popsicles for breakfast, lunch and dinner. And at this rate, I’m pretty sure my hair is going to grow in the shape of a sloppy topknot. But there’s one thing missing from my New York summer: Sonic.

Sonic is a Southern summer staple. Maybe it’s one everywhere else but New York City. Unfortunately, the nearest Sonic is in New Jersey. Okay, so apparently not in Brooklyn. Anyways, I grew up drinking those syrupy, snowy slushes every summer. Watermelon, powerade, sour apple. The occasional cream slush. GAH! I get sad just thinking about the big empty hole in my summer life where Sonic used to be.

After wallowing, I realized I could probably recreate these drinks at home.

Duh. (MORE)

HOLY CRAP: ZERO-CALORIE, ZERO-ALLERGY NOODLES!

Thu, 14 Jul 2011 15:57:30 -0400

Have I died and gone to heaven? I swear, it’s like someone’s been listening to my thoughts and finally did something about it. I can’t believe this. Zero calorie noodles. No soy, no gluten, no nothing. Just…noodles. If I could draw a food pyramid of what I eat, the bottom half would be a lot of tomato sauce, a lot of nutritional yeast, and a whole lotta gluten-free noodles. So, imagine the look on my face when my best friend Laura brought me these. I was in awe.

“This can’t be real life,” I tell her.

“Oh, no, yes it is, girl,” she assures me. (MORE)

Oh, hey y’all! Hope you haven’t been too lonely without me....

Wed, 06 Jul 2011 23:34:17 -0400

Oh, hey y’all! Hope you haven’t been too lonely without me. I’ve missed you guys. Recovery is going on time. Yesterday I got to volunteer at my favorite animal shelter here in Brooklyn, BARC. I got to spend quality time with my favorite quality pooch, Helga the Cairn terrier puppy. I also got to spend time with my friends and enjoy the summer–albeit, a little painfully!

Anyways, I’m working on a big list of summer drink recipes for you guys to enjoy in the heat. Watching plenty of movies, and definitely enjoy all the unparalleled goodness of the internet. Today, when I was checking my e-mail, I finally received the e-mail from AllergicChild.com with my interview in it! I thought I would share with y’all. All your questions answered (HERE)

BRAISED BABY ARTICHOKES WITH DEEP-FRIED POLENTA We all have it....

Wed, 08 Jun 2011 12:15:25 -0400

BRAISED BABY ARTICHOKES WITH DEEP-FRIED POLENTA

We all have it. It’s something we all do, when we’re all alone and just need some time to reflect.

Get your head out of the gutter.

For some people, it’s video games. Others, the spa. For me, it’s produce shopping. I turn off my cell phone, I walk through Whole Foods and begin my quest. Perfect peaches? Succulent strawberries? Gorgeous arugula? Yes, please. I derive sort of weird contentment from inspecting every stalk of asparagus and each bunch of kale. What can I say? I’m a food dork. So, imagine me, strutting through the grocery store so happily when I stumble upon the most adorable produce I’ve ever seen. (READ MORE)

Like I mentioned before, I’m a big fan of this season. Besides...

Mon, 30 May 2011 19:43:00 -0400

Like I mentioned before, I’m a big fan of this season. Besides all the babes in the park, the slushiesand getting to wear sundresses every day, I am way into grilling. Hot dogs? Apples? Brussels sprouts? Gluten-free cookies? Doesn’t matter. If it can stay on hot coals, it’s going on the Weber. Besides my affinity for anything on a roof, I’ve got a huge crush on barbecue parties. Which is why I’m cordially inviting all of you to mine. If you’ve never had the chance to try my cooking and would you like to, you will this weekend. (READ MORE)

SUMMER LOVIN’ SUGARBERRY MINT SALAD WITH BALSAMIC...

Sat, 28 May 2011 23:54:00 -0400

SUMMER LOVIN’ SUGARBERRY MINT SALAD WITH BALSAMIC CARAMEL

That, in case you’re wondering, is a rather gorgeous and simple fruit salad made with all-organic ingredients. Combined with a scoop of non-dairy ice cream, and a healthy spoonage of balsamic caramel, you’ll have a safe, healthy dessert that everyone will love.

For the salad, you will need….(READ MORE)

Well, we did it. Food for Dorks is now LEGIT! You can still...

Sat, 21 May 2011 15:45:59 -0400

Well, we did it. Food for Dorks is now LEGIT! You can still follow us here on Tumblr and on Twitter, but this bad boy will be headquarters from now on.

Go show me some love on the home page. You know I love you.

OH, FUDGE!: VEGAN, SOY-FREE, NUT-FREE CINNAMON SUNBUTTER...

Tue, 03 May 2011 14:39:00 -0400

OH, FUDGE!: VEGAN, SOY-FREE, NUT-FREE CINNAMON SUNBUTTER FUDGE

For as long as I can remember, my mother spends every holiday season creating elaborate tins of cookies and candies for our neighbors, friends and family. And each year, in exchange, we’d receive tins upon tins of fudge, puppy chow (not dog food) and other sweet, sugary treats. The family that lived up the road had this amazing peanut butter fudge. I swear, I gained six pounds every time I had a piece. But, that peanut butter fudge is a long-gone memory.

Why is it long-gone? Besides the fact that I don’t live at home anymore, I also have a peanut allergy, along with an estimated 3.3 million Americans claiming themselves as peanutards. So, when the craving strikes for an Elvis sandwich, or even just pad thai, there is the miracle of sunbutter!

Sunbutter, better known as sunflower seed butter, is a delicious nut-free alternative to nut butters. You can easily find sunbutter at any specialty grocery store. It bakes and cooks exactly like peanut or any other tree nut butter, and is a staple in any peanutard or tree-nutard’s kitchen.

In celebration of the awesomeness of sunbutter, and the nostalgia of peanut butter fudge, I bring you….Cinnamon Sunbutter Fudge!

1/2 cup soy-free margarine
2 1/4 cups brown sugar
1/2 cup coconut milk
3/4 cup sunbutter
1 1/2 tsp vanilla
1 1/4 tsp cinnamon
3 1/4 cups confectioner’s sugar

1. In a large saucepan, melt margarine down.

2. Add brown sugar. Stir to incorporate.

3. Add coconut milk.

4. Bring up to boil, keep it there for about a minute.

5. Add sunbutter, cinnamon and vanilla. Turn heat down to simmer and stir constantly for 2 minutes.

6. Pour mixture over large mixing bowl with confectioner’s sugar.

7. Stir well until smooth.

8. Dump mixture into lined 8x8 pan. Refrigerate for at least 2 hours, cut into 1-inch squares to serve.

this recipe is vegan. no eggs or milk here!
absolutely, positively no tree nuts, peanuts or soy here.
and at that, no mustard or sesame to be found!
no seafood, no little fishies or shellfishies to be seen.
of course, gluten-free.
this recipe is great for bringing to a potluck as a dessert for everyone…or at the very least, a bribe for someone.

GET INTO IT: NUTRITIONAL YEAST Recently, I decided to cut dairy...

Tue, 26 Apr 2011 00:41:00 -0400

GET INTO IT: NUTRITIONAL YEAST

Recently, I decided to cut dairy completely out of my diet. It just wasn’t working for me.

Okay, I sound like a bitter ex-girlfriend.

Truth be told, milk and I had a bad break-up. I got dumped by dairy. And oh, it was hard, for a while. Accepting that I was a bonafide milktard was devastating to my pasta habits. Parmesan here, parmesan there. Would my noodle-loving heart ever go on? I felt hopeless.

Until I met nutritional yeast.

Oh, my god, I just cringed reading that. “Nutritional yeast” just sounds awful. But oh, oh, now that I know of the wondrousness of nutritional yeast…I can’t hate on it anymore. I was skeptical, but figured tonight’s dinner would be an excellent opportunity, a first date for nutritional yeast and pasta. I roasted some beets, sliced ‘em real thin. Some sauteed spinach, quinoa shells, white truffle oil and, yup, nutritional yeast.

I took my first bite with mild trepidation. Chew, chew—suddenly, I was crushin’. Okay, maybe my taste buds were. I think my pasta had found a new boyfriend.

Yeah, so it isn’t quite the same as parmesan. It’s better. Nutritional yeast provides that tangy, nutty taste I so desire with my spelt spirals and rice penne. On top of popcorn, a gluten-free pizza, cheez sauce for nachos, the list goes for days. Besides the taste, there’s no stomachache to be had, and plenty of healthy perks. The possibilities are endless. My heart has gone on.

At least from parmesan cheese.

You can find nutritional yeast at most organic grocery stores and health food spots for about $5.

GONE FISHIN’ Everyone needs an occasional break, and this...

Mon, 11 Apr 2011 23:05:00 -0400

GONE FISHIN’

Everyone needs an occasional break, and this week, it’s my turn! I’m headed back to my childhood home in The Ozarks for days of sunshine, old friends, thrifting, hillbilly activities and general relaxation. I’ll be back soon with tons of recipes, pictures and a recap of my time back in the south.

And if you really miss me that much, drop a line at foodfordorks [at] gmail [dot] com.

xoxo,

Food for Dorks

PS: The above photo was taken by my favorite lady with a camera, Lauren Ford. The dish we had was a total freestyle: a light, dairy-free grapefruit-based cream sauce with butternut squash, shitaake mushrooms, rosemary and pancetta, over rice pasta.

MAKING DAIRY-FREE SAUCES GREAT: AN ODE TO THE SLURRY Oh, pan...

Mon, 04 Apr 2011 13:28:00 -0400

MAKING DAIRY-FREE SAUCES GREAT: AN ODE TO THE SLURRY

Oh, pan sauce. A staple of the culinary world; it is the jam to the peanut butter of steaks and filets. And it’s got a lot of butter in it. A lot. But geez, it’s delicious. Typically, after sauteeing a steak (or chicken breast), there is something called a fond at the bottom of your pan. That’s all the yummy cooked fat and juices. You add aromats—say, shallots or garlic. Then, you deglaze the pan with alcohol of some sort, usually wine. That cooks for second, stock is added and so is butter. The whole thing is brought to a rapid boil to reduce the mixture to a thick, pour-it-all-over-my-steak, dip-gluten-free-baguette-in-it texture that’s really just…awesome. But for that stick-to-the spoon sauce, it seems like milktards are fresh out of luck.

Well, nothing is ever quite as it seems though, right?

As a subscriber of the dairy-free diet, sauces tend to be on the thin side. Sure, there’s unsweetened coconut milk, but that’s not always the most appropriate flavor to incorporate. So…

Meet the slurry. A slurry is a life saver, easy to make and a great option for those of us with limits in our dairy intake. A simple little trick that will improve the quality of all of your sauces, giving them a full-bodied texture that brings out the flavors in everything you coat it in.

How do you make it? Simple:

1 tablespoon cornstarch or arrowroot powder + 2 tablespoons warm water, mixed well.

That’s it. Seriously, that’s it. Pour in a little at a time to a thin sauce, stirring constantly to incorporate. I usually pause between pours to gauge how much more slurry the mixture needs. After I find the sauce to my satisfaction, onto the food it goes.

Bam. Dairy-free pan sauce, perfected. It’s not just for meat though, add it pasta sauce or vegan caramel to get that sticky structure you so desire.

P.S. I know you want to know what I’m eating. It’s super awesome, by the way. Pan-seared, grass-fed rib steak with dairy-free bordelaise sauce, lemon-scented quinoa and roasted artichokes. I got the idea for the artichokes from fellow Brooklynite Nicole Franzen’s gorgeous food photography blog (that I’m totally obsessed with, by the way) La Buena Vida.

P.P.S. The whole meal was totally dork-friendly: no nuts, no seafood, no eggs or dairy and no gluten!

GLUTEN-FREE, DAIRY-FREE SWEDISH MEATBALLS WITH WILD MUSHROOM...

Tue, 22 Mar 2011 15:03:00 -0400

GLUTEN-FREE, DAIRY-FREE SWEDISH MEATBALLS WITH WILD MUSHROOM SAUCE

Sudden cravings are often silent, deadly and weird. Cadbury creme eggs? Bacon-wrapped hot dogs? Fried pickles? Random. So imagine my surprise when I found myself in desperate desire-land for some…Swedish meatballs? I mean, I know I need to get to Ikea in the near future, but…I usually can pin my cravings on something: stress, heartbreak, homesickness, anger. This one? I’m still rather mystified.

In spite of all my confusion, at least regarding the meatballs— I set out to find the perfect recipe. But to my dismay, there was a huge emphasis on heavy cream, milk, eggs and flour. What’s a dork to do? Dorkify it, duh!

And dorkify it, I did. It turned out perfectly. Warm, creamy, delicious. Everything I wanted and more. The meatballs were silky. I’ve never used that adjective to describe meat, but truly, they were soft and tender. The best part was obviously the not getting sick part, but, you know, I loved eating it so much, that I decided to share my recipe with you.

For the meatballs:
3 slices gluten-free bread
1/2 cup unsweetened coconut milk
3/4 cup ground pork
3/4 cup ground beef
2 tablespoons minced garlic
1/4 teaspoon nutmeg
1/4 teaspoon thyme
pinch ground cloves
1 teaspoon salt
1 1/2 teaspoons black pepper
3 tablespoons canola oil

For the sauce:
2 cups beef broth
1/3 cup unsweetened coconut milk
salt and white pepper, to taste
3/4 cup sliced shiitake mushrooms
3/4 cup sliced baby bella mushrooms
3/4 cup sliced oyster mushrooms
1/2 cup onion, small dice
2 tbsp minced garlic

1. Soak the three slices of bread in coconut milk for about 2 minutes.

2. While bread is soaking, combine meat and spices.

3. Crumble soggy bread into meat mixture. Knead to mix.

4. Form into bite-size (1” or so) meatballs.

5. Heat saucepan on medium-high heat with canola oil.

6. Brown meatballs on both sides. Remove as they are done. Place on a rack or plate with paper towels to drain.
TIP: As you place the meatballs in the skillet, arrange them clockwise so you know which ones went in first.

7. Turn down heat. If needed, add more canola oil, otherwise, add garlic and onion. Sautee until onions are opaque.

8. Add mushrooms. Sautee for a minute or so.

9. Put meatballs back in saucepan. Continue to sautee, add broth and coconut milk.

10. Bring to a boil, reduce to a simmer. While it is simmering, season to taste with white pepper and salt. The sauce is ready once it is thick and full, clinging to the back of a spoon.

11. Serve with new potatoes and ligonberry jam (the Swedish way) or, over gluten-free pasta.

This recipe is milk and egg-free.
No peanuts or tree nuts here.
No seeds or soy, either!
Gluten-free, for all my wheatards.
And of course, it’s free of any sea creatures. No fish or shellfish at all.
You can easily replace the beef or pork with any ground meat; chicken, turkey, veal, goat, etc.

LEMON-ROSEMARY CANNELLINI BEAN DIP Some things never go out of...

Mon, 14 Mar 2011 12:57:00 -0400

LEMON-ROSEMARY CANNELLINI BEAN DIP

Some things never go out of style: trench coats. A little black dress. A good pair of jeans. All of these things eschew the adjective “trendy”. They’ll never be corny, and they’ll always be tasteful. Let me tell you something: what applies to fashion applies to food. There will always be the new, hottest flavor.

But, just like fashion, some of these get tired. Dated. In come the flavor staples: chocolate and orange. Cinnamon and vanilla. Salt and pepper. Lemon and rosemary.

I’m really stuck on the lemon-rosemary combo as of late. There’s something about it that is so clean, so perfect and so classic. When I found myself craving that citrus-y, herbed taste, I found myself in my kitchen, whippin’ up a batch of this dip. You can do it, too! Here’s the super-easy recipe for you to enjoy with your favorite veggies, chips or even, on a slice gluten-free toast.

4 cloves garlic, minced
2 large sprigs rosemary+ 2 tbsp minced rosemary
1/4 cup olive oil
3 cups cannelini, navy or any white bean of choice
1 lemon, juiced
salt and black pepper, to taste

1. In a medium-sized saucepan, bring olive oil and the 2 rosemary sprigs up to a boil. Bring down to a simmer, and cook for 2 minutes. Allow to cool for at least 15 minutes. This will help infuse the oil with the rosemary.

2. Once oil has cooled, pour all but 2 tablespoons into a separate container. Make sure you remove the (now deep-fried!) rosemary as well.

3. With remaining olive oil, turn the heat back to medium-high. Sautee garlic until translucent, then add beans. Cook ‘til slightly mushy.

4. Mash—or, blend in food processor with remaining oil, chopped rosemary and the juice of one lemon. Season to taste with black pepper and salt.

5. Chill to let the flavors sink in. But if you’re like me, and can’t wait…eat it warm. It’s pretty awesome that way too.

This recipe is:

gluten and wheat-free!
low fat, high protein.
it’s vegan—no milk or eggs here.
free of any sea creatures. that means no shellfish or fish.
no nuts here! or soy, for that matter.
and totally free of any seeds.
a great, hypoallergenic answer to all your crudite questions.

So, I don’t get much of a chance to show it here, but, in real life…I’m a bit of a fashion nerd. I mean, I guess I’m such a girl, but seriously: in honor of classy food and classy fashionistas, I present to you my list of my favorite sartorial bloggers.

Tavi Gevinson is The Style Rookie, and blows me away with her know-how, fashion bravery and general coolness. I wish she was my little cousin or something. Whip-smart, she writes better than most twenty-somethings I know. Not to mention, we share a mutual adoration for Y2K-era pop culture and bows, making her my one of my style blog staples.
The Man Repeller is Leandra Medine, and if you aren’t reading this blog, fix that now. One giant lady boner, comin’ right up. This girl dresses the way I wish I could: mixed patterns, lots of layers, bowties, “birth control glasses”, excellent shoes. General man-repelling style—just my type. Not to mention she’s a New Yorker like me, she’s funny as hell and I’d definitely say inspires about…well, we’ll say a lot of my outfits.
If you ever need million-dollar beauty advice, full-length accounts of juice cleanses, or, just a good laugh, Boobs and Loubs is it. Morgan is a hilarious lady residing in Los Angeles, and probably my spirit animal. With her red-lip realness and real-life rants about celebs we all hate, I have to tell you…I can’t get enough of B&L.
Bebe Zeva, the darling of the Internet (and Teen Vogue, and Seventeen), has her own style blog. It’s awesome. Besides being totally gorgeous, Bebe really goes out there with her outfits, and I can’t say I don’t covet her hat collection (it’s amazing) or her taste in sunglasses (also amazing). Fated to be Hated is a must-have Internet staple.
Don’t worry, gentlemen, I haven’t forgotten you. A Taste of Tomorrow is globetrotter Ulric Kelly’s take on international fashion and men’s wear. With an emphasis in Middle Eastern design, Kelly’s blog is like an anthropological adventure into the style ranks of all our friends across the pond. Endless pictures of pretty clothes with well-written descriptions—how can you say no?

What are some of your favorite fashion blogs? Let me know at foodfordorks [at] gmail [dot] com!

SOY-FREE SHIITAKE SOBA SALAD Asian cookery is an interesting...

Mon, 07 Mar 2011 14:05:22 -0500

SOY-FREE SHIITAKE SOBA SALAD

Asian cookery is an interesting beast. Garlic is still a star, but scallions replace shallots, and ginger makes a brief cameo. Oh, and then there’s the whole soy sauce thing. If you thought soy was in everything now, try three consecutive weeks of cooking with it. And sesame oil. And seafood. Lots and lots of seafood. Needless to say, Asian cookery is not only interesting, it’s a beast when it comes to allergens.

So when I got my recipe for noodle night, I panicked a little. My recipe called for tamari, dashi broth, sesame oil and a few other things that might make me a little skittish. But where there is a will, there is a way to make it hypoallergenic. Instead of using dashi, I made stock from shiitake mushrooms, ginger and scallions. Instead of soy sauce, I used coconut aminos. And, it turns out—soba noodles are gluten-free, as buckwheat is not actually wheat. Like I said, Asian cookery is one fascinating creature.

Here are a few great links to Asian hypoallergenic alternatives, recipes and more:

Soy sauce is the first and foremost concern, at least for me, in allergy-free cooking. I’m a big fan of Coconut Secret’s Coconut Aminos. It can be used nearly identical to the way you use soy sauce in both Asian cooking and in other recipes.
You can also make your own soy-free soy sauce at home. This is the recipe I use, and I find that it works pretty great when I run out of coconut aminos. It is not vegan, however.
Miso soup is a classic broth used often to bolster a great meal of sushi. I made vegan sushi in class, went home and had a big cup of this soy-free miso. Warning, though—it is not gluten-free.
Cybele Pascal continues to woo me with her simple, family-oriented, allergy-free recipes. Here’s a great article on hypoallergenic Asian cooking.

Sure, it takes effort to make these alternatives, but then again, it’s important to appreciate the work that goes into making your food. You see? You can turn a terrifying, allergy-inducing dragon into a fluffy, allergy-friendly lapdog…if you try!

VEGAN, GLUTEN-FREE STUFFED FRENCH TOAST WITH ROASTED SWEET...

Tue, 01 Mar 2011 00:45:00 -0500

VEGAN, GLUTEN-FREE STUFFED FRENCH TOAST WITH ROASTED SWEET POTATO PUREE & BLUEBERRY CARAMEL SAUCE

Oh, French toast. How I have longed for you! For brunch, for dinner. For breakfast, sometimes. Oh, French toast, we had some good times. And then…and then came the day eggs made me sick. Reeeall sick. Before that day, French toast was a breeze. Dredge gluten-free bread in egg batter. Drop into sizzing margarine. Drench in agave nectar. Delish. But ugh, egg makes me feel sick. What’s a girl to do?

Dork-ify it, duh.

Now, I added some pizzazz of my own—namely, a roasted sweet potato puree and a blueberry caramel sauce— but, here’s a basic, AMAZING, crispy, crunchy, sweet vegan French toast recipe that’ll help you forget the whole egg thing. I mean, it made me fall back in love with the the damn dish, so why can’t you? You’ll never miss the egg in this one.

1/4 cup gluten-free all-purpose flour
1/4 cup unsweetened applesauce
1/4 teaspoon corn stach or arrowroot
2 big pinches cinnamon
2 big pinches nutmeg
1 pinch cloves
1 pinch chilli powder
1/4 cup non-dairy milk, preferably coconut
1/2 cup gluten-free bread crumbs
6 slices gluten-free bread
1 teaspoon brown sugar
canola oil, as needed for frying
sweet topping of choice—my favorites are fruit and agave nectar!

1. Combine non-dairy milk, spices, gluten-free flour, corn starch and apple. Mix together to form thick, creamy batter.

2. Heat skillet on medium-high heat with canola oil.

3. While skillet is heating, soak a piece of gluten-free bread in mixture, making sure to coat bother sides evenly.

4. Dredge in bread crumbs, shaking off excess.

5. Drop into skillet and cook until golden brown. Flip. Repeat with remaining bread slices.

6. Serve with sweet topping of your choice!

this recipe is vegan—so no milk and no eggs!
besides that, there’s no nuts, no soy and no seeds.
and of course, it’s wheat and gluten-free.
no fish here. or even shellfish.
perfect anytime. this recipe was a midnight snack, but you can impress your boyfriend or girlfriend with brunch in bed after mastering this allergy-friendly recipe.

CHILLI-CHARRED PORK CHOPS WITH PRICKLY PEAR-CITRUS SALAD AND...

Tue, 22 Feb 2011 09:47:00 -0500

CHILLI-CHARRED PORK CHOPS WITH PRICKLY PEAR-CITRUS SALAD AND WILD RICE & PEAS

Pork chops are great. I realize that this is a rather broad and obvious statement, but no, seriously. I really like pork chops. I didn’t grow up eating pork at all. Not until culinary school did I get to experience the greatness of a great pork chop.

Last night, I found myself a-hankerin’ for such greatness. And so, I whipped myself up a rather magnificent dinner composed of such. Antibiotic & hormone-free pork chops, rubbed with a peppery, chilli-laden spice blend and lime, grilled to juicy perfection. To compliment, an awesome, pink salad made with organic ruby red grapefruit, prickly pear and granny smith apples. For a good grain, a take on the west Indies classic, rice and peas: fresh green peas with wild rice.

Oh, how I stuffed myself. After all, I could actually eat everything on my plate.

And…it tasted pretty great, if I do say so myself.

this dish is hypoallergenic.
this means no peanuts, tree nuts, soy or sesame.
there’s also no milk or eggs…
…and certainly no wheat or gluten.
no fish or shellfish either!

PS: This is our 100th post! Huge thanks to all of you. I never could have done this without you dorks. Here’s to many more! xoxo

CONQUERING CRAVINGS: SOYATOO RICE WHIP Ah, yes. Whipped cream....

Wed, 16 Feb 2011 14:47:23 -0500

CONQUERING CRAVINGS: SOYATOO RICE WHIP

Ah, yes. Whipped cream. It’s a universally loved dessert topping. On pie, on top of a sundae, cobbler, a shake…the list is endless, as are the possibilities. Classy, understated, and very much a necessity for any sweet-toothed dork. Unless that dork happens to be lactarded.

Enter my- and many a-vegan’s dilemma as well. What are we to do without our beloved whipped cream? Well, there’s always soy whip, but if you’re a soytard, then…forget it. We’re left with naked cakes, bare fruit salad. A sad existence.

Luckily, the company behind everyone’s favorite soy whip has a dork-friendly alternative. This rice whip tastes like the real thing with a genuinely thick, creamy texture. Rice tends to have a thin texture, so I was surprised when a fluffy stream of sweetness came out of the can. Soyatoo has really mastered their whipped products, and this rice whip is no exception.

So, for all your whipped cream needs, reach for this hypoallergenic alternative. Seriously. You can’t tell the difference. At all. And it’s only ten calories per serving. Vegan, lactarded, milk allergy, watching your calories? Just a general dessert monkey? Welp, now you know: Soyatoo’s rice whip rules.

This product is hypoallergenic, gluten-free and vegan.
That means no soy, no peanuts or tree nuts, no seeds, no seafood, no wheat and of course, no eggs or milk.
You can find it at most health food markets, like Whole Foods. It’s around $3 a can.

ATTACK OF THE AVOCADO SANDWICHES Fruits and vegetables are my...

Mon, 07 Feb 2011 20:33:00 -0500

ATTACK OF THE AVOCADO SANDWICHES

Fruits and vegetables are my favorite food in the entire world. Anything green will make me jump up and down. So, imagine my happiness when discovering 5-for-$5 organic Hass avocados last week. Oh, I was just ecstatic. I may or may not have caused the security guard in Whole Foods to laugh at me. Yeah, I squealed.

Anyways, I grabbed a bushel’s worth of avocados and continued my journey. It wasn’t until today, when I remembered I had about ten of them on top of my refrigerator. And then I remembered I had gluten-free bagels, and garlic, and…well, the rest is gastronomic history. A toasted, gluten-free bagel with fresh guacamole, crispy turkey bacon and grilled peaches: my new favorite.

FRIENDLY FOR PEOPLE WITH ALLERGIES TO:

soy & sesame
wheat & gluten
fish & shellfish
eggs & milk
peanuts & tree nuts

VEGAN PAD THAI, DORK STYLE Once upon a time, a young girl lived...

Thu, 03 Feb 2011 02:46:00 -0500

VEGAN PAD THAI, DORK STYLE

Once upon a time, a young girl lived in a humongous, six bedroom loft in Williamsburg. She had no food allergies to speak of. At nineteen years of age, there was little to fear, except for being carded at the bodega. And since this young girl lived behind a Thai restaurant, every day for lunch, she ate a big plate of pad thai. Pad thai became a ritual to the girl. It was summer, so every lunch was consumed on the bench outside the restaurant. Not many people walked on North 5th Street. It was a quiet ceremony she came to enjoy.

Until one day, that pad thai made her sick. Really sick. “It’s just bad eggs,” she thought. Later, a glass of soy milk was consumed. And even more sick she became. A lightbulb clicked. Soy was the enemy. Sadly, this made her mid-day tradition no longer an option. And even sadder, the Thai restaurant closed down. The young girl went with it, well, at least to a one-bedroom in Greenpoint. She still lives in Greenpoint, in that same one-bedroom, but she is 21 now. And now, she has become allergic to everything she loved about those summer lunches.

Soooo, I’m going to stop talking about myself in the nostalgic third person. Not just because it is sad and weird, but it is making me sad and feel weird. Anyways, pad thai is a big ol’ memory for me, and over the years, I’ve developed an allergy to pretty much EVERYTHING IN IT. Not only is pad thai a no-no to the non-soy, the prevalence of peanut butter and crushed peanuts is a hazard. Egg is stir-fried in with sesame oil. Combined with fish paste in the sauce, pad thai renders the dish akin to kryptonite for soytards, sesametards, nutards, glutards and fishtards. Total fail for anyone with any kind of allergy, really.

Let me tell you something, though. One cannot fight cravings for long. I tried my own variations, I tried everything. EVERYTHING. Nothing was good enough, oh no. So, tonight, I impulsively took the train one stop, got out, went to Sunac and purchased rice noodles, a handful of green things, and sriacha. Anyone who walked by me knew I was on a mission to make Thai food. What they didn’t know is that it would be DORK STYLE.

I went home, I whipped it up and I whipped this out. Here’s a recipe for making your very own Pad Thai, dork-style. check it out.

8 oz rice noodles, boiled
1/2 cup red onion, chopped
3 cloves garlic, chopped
2 tbsp canola oil
6 green onions, white part, sliced widthwise (save the green bits for later)
1 lime, sliced into quarters
2 1/2 tbsp vegan barbecue sauce*
2 tbsp sunflower seed butter
3 tbsp raw young coconut aminos OR 3 tbsp soy-free soy sauce
1/2 cup chopped cilantro
1 1/2 cup bean sprouts
2 tsp sriracha sauce (you can cut down if you’re not into spicy thaaangs)

1. Heat oil in saucepan. Sautee red onion, garlic and green onion for one minute. Be careful!

2. Add barbecue sauce and sunflower seed butter. Mix together well and simmer for 1 minute.

3. Now, add 2 wedges’ worth of lime juice and the raw coconut aminos.Continue to stir.

4.Test the sauce. Does it need more salt? more pepper? more sweetness? Use the aminos in place of salt and red pepper flakes or sriracha in place of pepper when seasoning.

5. Add noodles. Begin to toss with sauce. Squirt a little lime juice in the mix, and add the bean sprouts. toss them all around.

6. you’re done! plate with chopped green onion, cilantro and lime wedge. if you’re feelin’ rather feisty, perhaps crumble some raw sunflower seeds over the dish. fancy!

*Now, I know the barbecue sauce came out of left field, I know it did. But! I couldn’t find any tamarind paste anywhere. Dean and Deluca, Sunac, Whole Foods, they all failed me. So, I used my culinary expertise**to substitute the tamarind with barbecue sauce instead. and you know what, guys?

IT WORKED.

**lol. jk. I’m lazy.

And for bonus points, a fancy dessert:

That’s right. Agave-sweetened, dark chocolate coconut milk ice cream. Every food dork’s dream. Luna and Larry are the lactard’s Ben and Jerry.

So, a success on all fronts Thai food, at least tonight in my kitchen. I have to say, eating pad thai might become a mid-day ritual again with this recipe.
This recipe is:

safe for anyone with a peanut, tree nut, soy or sesame allergy.
it’s naturally gluten-free, and there are no threats to our seafood-fearing friends.
ain’t no eggs in this get-up. nor any milk!
generally vegan. but….
…it can be made meat-eater friendly: just add 1 cup of cooked chicken breast per person being served.

CARROT-FENNEL SOUP WITH BACON & WILD RICE Lately, I have...

Thu, 27 Jan 2011 11:10:16 -0500

CARROT-FENNEL SOUP WITH BACON & WILD RICE

Lately, I have been spending much time thinking about how to comedically capitalize on the current state of weather in New York:

“I’m snow over it.”

“Hail no.”

“It’s snow bad outside.”

Yeah, I know. I gave up.

The magic of snow days is gone; now I just whine about the delivery guy taking too long to bring me my Snapple and the bus never coming. Everything takes too damn long when there are shoulder-height snow banks.

Although I have become jaded by the current precipitation, I have used the mood of mother nature to justify my latest culinary excursion: carrots, fennel, bacon, wild rice and a handful of friends to make this one big party in a pot.

Lucky for you guys, I’ve included the recipe for such a fiesta. It’s a very flexible plan for soup; it can be made vegan, or you can go all-out carnivore. Go crazy.

1 cup onion
2 tbsp olive oil + as needed
1 1/2 cups carrot, sliced width-wise, about .25” thick
1 1/4 cups chopped fennel
4 cloves garlic, chopped
2 tbsp tomato paste
1/2 cup julienned bacon (“fake”-on or turkey bacon will work, too!)
7 cups vegetable or chicken stock
1 cup wild rice
1 tbsp oregano
1 1/4 tsp basil
salt and pepper, to taste

1. In large pot, heat olive oil ‘til hot (but not smoking!)

2. Add onions. Stir well to coat with oil. Add salt & pepper to taste. Keep stirrin’!

3. When onions are translucent— about 3-4 minutes of stirring and cooking—add garlic.

4. After a good 2 minutes have passed, add carrots, fennel and tomato paste.

5. Fennel getting opaque? Good. Keep stirring, and toss in the bacon.

6. Sautee for another 2 minutes. Now add the spices, and stir well to coat the vegetables with the oregano and basil. Taste the mixture— you may want to add more salt or pepper, depending on your personal taste.

7. After you have adjusted the mixture to your tastebuds, pour in the stock, and shortly thereafter, the wild rice.

8. Bring soup to boil, turn down to simmer. Let simmer until rice has cooked. Serve hot with plenty of gluten-free toast and tea!

THIS RECIPE IS

peanut and tree nut-free.
no sesame or soy.
contains absolutely no creatures of the sea—that means no fish or shellfish.
no wheat, no gluten.
no eggs or milk, either!
adaptable to vegan lifestyles
made for leftovers!